Fighting With Music – Knowing When To Surrender
I wanted to share a story about one of the songs I recorded a few years back. This is to give you some transparency as a professional musician about my own challenges.
The song is entitled “Five Knights” and you can hear it on Spotify or Bandcamp
This song is quite involved, with three sections, polyrhythms, and so forth. I spent a lot of time writing it, using a variety of rhythms I was working on at the time. It’s entitled “Five Knights” because it has a five or 10/8 type feel throughout the piece.
Recording Challenges
When I went to record the song, I tried for 3-4 days to record it but as soon as I got in front of the mic, I couldn’t play it all the way through without making mistakes. My five knights were TWO knights at best!!!
I’d make it about halfway through and then flub some notes. I spent countless hours into the late evening trying to get this done. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get it to work. Sir Lancelot was off fighting dragons I guess.
Giving Up?
At some point, I decided I had enough and gave up. I said, I’m done, this is driving me bonkers. All I was doing was ending up more and more aggravated. This was not helping put me at ease to record.
Returning to Recording
Fast-forwarding 4-5 years later, out of the blue, I decided to try the song again. It wasn’t something that had been on my mind. It was simply a spontaneous decision. I didn’t spend much time rehearsing it. I ran through it a few times to refamiliarize myself with it. I turned on my microphone, hit record,, and the stars aligned. I did it on the very FIRST take!!! No overdubs. After I was done, I looked at the computer screen and said to myself, “I can’t believe I just did that!”
I was joyful but also annoyed because years earlier I had spent hours trying to do it.
What Gives?
One then must ask themselves:
Why is it that no matter how many times I played the song, no matter how much effort I put into it, I couldn’t play it when I needed to?
Similarly, ask yourself, “Have you ever gotten into a jam session and fell on your face? Ever go to perform in front of family, and you folded faster than Superman on laundry day???”
I already know the answer to this one…..
This is the magic of music that’s so hard to quantify and put into words. Sometimes, no matter how much you practice something, it’s not your time yet. It could be your psychology, it could be your technique, it could be it’s not meant to be, WHO KNOWS? I have no firm answers for you. I just know that in my 30+ year as a professional musician, there is this thing with music that is seemingly out of our own control. I’m here to share in those experiences. I experience the exact same thing on many different levels. These aren’t failures or set backs; they are part of the process. They are part of your journey and growth.
When you run into a brick wall, sometimes the right thing to do is keep trying. Maybe you’ll bust through the wall. However, there will be those times, it’s best to lay it down and come back to it, months or even years later. Don’t look at this as giving up so much as giving in to the way things are to be in that moment. Release yourself from the pressure you’ve put on yourself to succeed. If it’s causing mental anguish, let go of it for a time.
It’s okay. The music will be there when you get back….you will be able to redeem yourself, all in good time! After all, I collected my knights and slayed the dragon!
I will continue to share more of my stories and experiences as a musician. I have lots, stay tuned!
As always, feel free to message me about your music journey. If you need a music coach, I teach anywhere in the world online via ZOOM. Contact me and I’ll help you out ASAP. Lastly, please consider signing up for my Banjo Journey Newsletter (link on the side or at the bottom depending on the device). I send it out at least twice a month.
